I think He wrote it. And it worries me. But I shouldn’t care.

I found it by complete accident. I really did . The Yahoo! he’s using to send me videos this time is ‘ephebophilic.sodomite’ and the word sodomite rang a bell, but I didn’t know what ephebophilic meant, so I typed the yahoo! name into Google. It came up with some blog, and I clicked. I don’t know why. I guess it captured my interest.

For those of you who care…

ephebophilic means a sexual orientation or preference in which an adult’s primary sexual attraction is towards pubescent or postpubescent adolescents.

a sodomite is someone who engages in anal copulation (especially a male who engages in anal copulation with another male)

It kind of makes me scared.

I wrote that yesterday, and thinking back, it’s totally true. It’s strange: when you’re ill, you become feral (well, I do.) I was hungry and all I could think about was food – getting food was my main objective. I would not stop. And when I was tired, all I wanted to do was sleep. So I did. Animals operate the same way, or so I reckon, and it was weird because I’ve never had to think about my objectives that way before. I’ve never been much of a survivor.

Now I’m watching ‘10 Things I Hate About You.’ It is the greatest movie ever, simply because it has Heath Ledger, Julia Stiles and Joseph Gordon-Levitt, all of whom I love, and I have to say Heath Ledger is FIT. I mean…phwoarr.

So I’ve been in York with Jawgee and Frazz for 5 days, and it was pretty darn awesome. I’ll do it by day, ’cause that’ll be easier.

Sunday

The drive was pretty okay, although I did have to take a tablet, but I think that was from excitement rather than actual car sickness. We didn’t yell roadtrip, ’cause it was 9:30 in the morning, but we did have fun. When we got there, we got settled into our rooms, by which I mean the others dumped their stuff whilst I became Monica out of Friends, packed all my stuff away in the cupboard and drawers and jumped on the bed. We had a really nice pizza for dinner, and I fell asleep through Top Gear, and only caught bits of a documentary about hair, which Jamelia presented.

Monday

We had breakfast (I discovered that Frazer eats an unjustifiable amount of food) and then we set off for the park and ride, which would take us to that wonderful city known as York. When we got to the Park and Ride carpark, I saw that Now 70 could be bought for £10. Bargain. I went and bought it: the first purchase of the day (there would be many to follow.) I had loads of fun shopping and going into every single shop, but I don’t think Frazer and Georgi did, somehow. I never get a chance to really go shopping, as I never have lots of money (which i did on that day), so ‘Damnit,’ I thought, ‘I’ll shop if I want to!’ I got fabulous zebra-stripey shoes, and a zebra-stripey bag, and lots of other awesome things. We didn’t get to meet Bev, Sam and Sean, and if you’re reading this Bev, I want you to know that 1.) I’m sorry for talking to fast in the message I left you, and 2.) I was very, very, very angry, but I guess I’m over it now. We went to see Mammia Mia: The Movie that night, and I realised a few things: I’ve always been an ABBA fan, Pierce Brosnan singing is hilarious, and Team OXO is really weird (we laughed when an advert for Special K came on. Still makes me giggle, even now.)

Tuesday

We went to Hawoth, where the Bronte sisters grew up. it was a really nice place and even though we didn’t go into the Bronte house, I still had fun. Once again, all I wanted to do was shop, but Frazer and Georgi didn’t, so i told them to go off on their own. I don’t know if they had fun or not, but I really did, even if the things I bought are stupid. I’m pretty sure my Mom would have had fun too, and to me, if my Mom would be having fun, it’s a fun situation. That night, I managed to stay up relatively late and as always I slept like a rock. Georgi and Frazer could seriously have done whatever they wanted to me and I would never have known. Quite scary, to be honest.

Wednesday

This was, to me, the funnest day of all, because it was just true Team OXO. We drove up to Filey and it seemed to take absolute ages, but maybe it just seemed that way because I was once again really excited. When we got there all I wanted to do was strip off and dive into the sea, but Frazer was hungry and I complained a lot but then I realised I was hungry too. Eventually, we made our way to the beach but it took a while to find a nice spot, mainly because I was complaining yet again, but I think the place we chose in the end was quite nice. More moodiness and bitchiness followed because I really wanted to go swimming, but no one could because Georgi can’t and Frazer hadn’t brought anything to swim in. I went in waist-deep and few times, but it wasn’t the same as actually swimming. We played frizbee, and built some sort of strange boat game, and fiddled aroundn with the Poi and wrote 6.2 and 69 in the sand, and it was all good, but I think my bitchiness was getting unbelievebly irritating because when Frazer and Georgi came down with me to the water, we all got rather wet and Frazer dived straight it! I was happy. We swam for a bit and were the furthest people out, but then we decided to go back to Camp OXO. Mrs.Wilson was not happy with the state of us, and we had to get changed between two umbrellas on the beach, although I still don’t understand why I couldn’t of just gone and changed in the toilets. Anyway, it was a fun ride home, as we stopped at a place called the Tanglewood Inn (or something like that) and annoyed the hell out of a good-looking waiter, who seemed terrified of us. The lack of vegetarian meals was dispicable and even though I’m not a vegetarian, I was very annoyed. Whilst in Filey we bought cheapo sunglasses, a t-shirt that said Jesus and cans of Rockstar, so we just walked around looking like hillbilles; it was awesome. When we got back to Briery House, we took lots of odd photos with our weird sunglasses. Georgi and Frazer looked great, but I don’t think I did. Late at night, we kept getting weird crank calls, and it was so much fun. I’ve no idea who was calling us, but whoever they are – thanks, we had fun too!

Thursday

We started driving at around half past ten, I think, but then stopped at ASDA’s for lunch, so we only really got going at 11. I felt ill and sleepy, so I slept most of the journey and dreamed about riding on snails back to the beach. I honestly thought it was real until I woke up, which was probably why I looked and felt so confused. I got home at 2:45, but I think we got to Georgi’s house at around 2:15, so baring in mind that we stopped for 30 minutes for lunch, it took us 2 hours and 45 minutes to get from Wakefield to Shrewsbury. What fun. That night I went to the soireé with the Twinning Association. It was really good fun because I met Sophie, a friend of Sophie’s who was really nice about me not being able to play frizbee. There were some yobs camped out on the field, some of which i knew, and they yelled over at us “Oi! You’re french! Fuck off!” Sophie’s dad told them to watch their language, and they shut up. I don’t think they were meant to be there, which isn’t very good. There was some dancing, and I fell in love with this guy Louis Florentin, who’s staying in Ruyton. He’s 16 and very good-looking, but he’d obviously never be interested in me, and I hear he has a girlfriend. Our own french kid, Antoine (apparently, we keep saying it wrong ) is 14, and is quite ncie, although we think he’s giving up on trying to understand us.

Today, I’ve not been doing much, just sitting around the house really. I unpacked msot of my stuff yesterday but now i can’t really be bothered to sort out anything else. When I came online this morning, I was given this shock:

I don’t know if I handled the situation well, but it was a big shock. I doubt he’ll come online again, but then, I thought I’d never to speak to him again: it was as if he were September (I guess only Georgi and Frazz will get that.) Now I’m just waiting for Michael to come online. I don’t know why, but I guess I kinda miss him.

Love you all.

OXO

The word generator has spoken: known.

I have known many people in my life. Bossy ones, Bitchy ones, Sad ones, Happy ones, but only recently I discovered that the phrase “you think you know someone!” is true. You think you can predict their next move and hope to God you’re not right, and you can guess at their thoughts – you know they’ve thought the same thoughts before – but in the end, they always surprise you.

I guess this wasn’t a very long blog, and it didn’t make a bit of sense.

I’m bitter, but what you gonna do about it?

What the hell are you doing?

Just thought I’d share that with you.

I love Simon Amstell.

xXx

So lately, things have been going quite badly for me. [Another sympathy story, I know.] Here is how it is going:

• My lover [oh I went there] of two years left me for some American whore. [Alright, I'm sure she's very nice, but I don't care.] 
• My exam results weren’t the best
• My hip is causing me real trouble
• I am still haunted by the aforementioned lover.
• I’m feeling homesick
• As a result, the racism Tarquin spewed my way hurt even more. [Updates on that, by the way: He said to Danni that he was so mad at me [?!] that he would’ve beaten me up, and Amy Parkhurst told me that he said to her that I’ve been spreading rumours about him. Well if telling people that he was very mean indeed, then yes, I’m spreading rumours.]

So, all in all, life isn’t that great. And I know it’s because I’m doing something wrong: Karma. However, things are turning in my favour slightly. On Saturday, I went to town with my mother and brother for the carnival, and wore my starry skirt, which is a mini [oh I went there!] and my corset top, because it was a nice day and I deserve to feel happy, damnit. Anyhoo, we were shuffling through crowds of people, and I got quite a few looks – most probably looks of disgust - but I was proud anyway, though I guess I shouldn’t because I looked like a skanky tart. The only thing is, I was walking opposite the town fryer, when I saw Nathaniel and Matthew, and I felt all embarressed suddenly, ’cause I thought Nathaniel saw me, but I pretended not to see him =P

Another “good-thing” of that day was ultimate payback. On the same day, when I was taking my brother for a walk with Pippin, when I saw Lewis. Keeping in mind I was feeling very confident that I looked quite good in my outfit, I thought “Come on, BRING IT” [as said by the Bunnies in a parody movie*] and walk passed him. There was him: looking like a moron with his icky hair, and his icky jeans and his cheap Vans; and there was me: proudly wearing a mini-skirt. With stars on it.

I was very happy with that triumph, however small, because I love getting revenge. [Watch yo' step Tarkers.]

Love to your mothers.

xXx

* If you would like to visit the hilarious site, which I recommend you do, click this link: http://www.angryalien.com/

Anyhoo, in our very crappy drama production, Blood Brothers (I know it’s not actually ours, but we’ve taken out random scenes and adapted it for ourselves), I play Mrs. Johnstone in what is known as “the stabbing scene.” Oh dear. In it, Sophie (Mrs. Lyons) has a go at me for supposedly stalking her, and then tries to kill me by literally stabbing me in the back. The thing is…we have to use a real knife, for maximum effect. Yeah, well maximum effect achieved. The entire time I’m acting, I look scared crapless, which I am. We practised for the very first time today with it, and it stuck into the ground most times. Awesome.

Okay, so now MORE stalking. Maybe I should post this on the internet, but who cares? I shall code it. Okay, I was a bit bored and did some searching for He Who’s Name Begins With B (I’m doubtful that’ll turn up in the Google Searcher), because I was bored, like I said. I actually find relevent stuff, but something I found which has not been found before was a Veoh. I knew immediately it was his, as all the information on it was the same as his YouTube, but he said his city was New York, which I suppose it is, but he usually puts Manila…anyway, there was a picture on it, which we have all seen and which all freaks us out. I had to know if it really was him. I devised a cunning plan. I would make a fake YouTube and ask him on it if the picture on his Veoh really was him. Me and Georgi have since devised asnswers to his answer (fingers crossed.

If he says yes, it is him…
“oh, cool, ’cause you look like my neighbour…and i like my neighbour ; ) lol.” The lol is just there to piss him off.

If he says no, it isn’t him…
“aww, shame, ’cause he looks like my neighbour…and i like my neighbour, lol. why have you got some guy posing as you?!”

I’m sure it will yeild some results. If not…darn.

Now for the screaming. A funny, but embarressing story, for me at least. We went to Hawkstone Park, as most of you know by now, for the second time. The first time, we went up to the White Tower, I thought it was just be an empty tower, but I got the biggest fright of my life (or did I?) when I looked inside, because there were two manequins, who I thought were real people at first. Okay, so the second time we went up to the White Tower, we all remembered the story, and laughed. I went up to the tower, and I knew there would be models in the room, so I wasn’t afraid. But when I walked up to the door and said (rather loudly and confidently) “I am not scared!” and a voice said “Why, HELLO there!” Boy, did I jump. I screamed, again, rather loudly, and ran down to my father practically crying. Turns out the voice was Mr. Frikin’ Tumnus, who was there to help the little kiddie find the Dragon’s eggs.

Ha. Ha.

Maybe I’m destined to always look like an idiot when I go there.

Anyway, you happy now Frazz?!

VODKA!

Anyway, the most awesome thing ever was that, when me and Mom went to the till to pay for all our goodies, there was this couple near the other till.

Now, I’m going to have to tell this in classic story format.

[Enter Frazz with his story teller voice.]

There was a woman, with her little son in a trolley, casually looking at the fruit juices, thinking that she had all the time in the world. But no. She thought wrong. Her husband has just knabbed a till, claiming it by putting a handful of gum and a single apple on the conveyor. The faily elderly couple who had just moved towards that same till looked appalled. The husband waited a not even a few seconds, but his wife was taking too long. He yelled to her, in a sarcastic and sardonic way: “Helloooo!”, and clapped his hands. The wife’s face? Oh, the most awesome thing ever. She looked at her husband with the classic “Oh no you di’int!” face, then pushed her trolley over, saying quite loudly as she did so “It’s quite hard to raise a child YOU KNOW.” The husband, realising just what exactly he had done, said, “Look, I’m sorry, alright?” in hushed tones, trying to keep his wife’s tantrum to a minimum. “You should be!” said the woman part of the elderly couple nearby, as she watched the scene unfold. The wife stalked off towards the vegetables, in a huff that would have made Posh Spice proud. Watching her go, regret etched into his face, the husband said to his son “Where’s Mummy gone, eh?” as he reached into his pocket for his phone, failing to notice the red-headed girl who was quietly laughing her head off, unpacking her trolley onto the conveyor next to his. The husband dialled in a number, and waited. No answer. He dialled once more, again saying to the little boy “Where’s Mummy, eh? Where’s Mummy?!” The phone was answered, but the husband only managed a “I’m sor-”, before the wife hung up. He preceded to unpack the trolley, phone still in hand, eyes still fixed towards the fruit and veg section. He called again. This time, there was an answer that lasted longer than 2 seconds. Although he spoke very quietly, you could hear what he said (if you listened hard enough, which I did, naturally.) “Look, I’m sorry, but I’m having a hard time packing here, so just come back, please?” You could tell he was sorry. The husband hung up the phone, and unpacked, this time with a slight renewed vigour. Soon enough, the wife returned, cold and stony, not speaking to her foolish other half. They paid for their groceries, and continued towards the door, again not noticing the red-headed woman and her red-headed daughter following closely behind, stifling their giggles. As the happy couple strode off into the distance, you could just see the wife’s mouth form the words “You giant ass.”

That, my friends, is the most awesome thing ever. Okay, it’s not funny when it’s happening to you, but I’m single, so I don’t have to worry!

It turns out the neighbours DO have a son, but he’s a chav, and about my brother’s age. The child-like giggles I heard yesterday were not made by him (maybe), but by his 4-year-old sister, who’s quite cute. On seeing the boy, my imaginative mother said “Ooh, maybe Jason can make some new friends.” Har-har.

That’s my day so far…

Toodles.

Ha, just spoke to my Mom on Skype, even though she’s downstairs =P

Woo!